No change ever comes about in life when we’re sitting and waiting for it. Which is why being caught up in agonising cycles of “do I? don’t I?” can be so incredibly frustrating. I’ve been there so many times. And I feel immediately annoyed the moment I realise I’m caught in the loop again.
Not this again.
I think part of the reason it’s so agitating is because I know that there is no clear outcome, no real change or shift from being in the toing and froing.
The only way for me to feel different is to actually make a decision. Move on. Stop the cycle. And the only way that the interruption ever takes place is creating the space for it to happen.
When we’re in the place of indecision (the toing and froing) we’re in limbo. We’re beating ourselves up. We’re coming up with excuses. There’s a million different reasons why we stay stuck there.
I’ve heard that successful people make fast decisions and change their minds slowly.
“Studies have shown that the most successful people make decisions rapidly [and] are slow to change their decisions, if at all. On the other hand, people who fail usually make decisions slowly and change their minds quickly, always bouncing back and forth.”
— Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within
And if that works for successful people, then surely there’s some truth to it? It makes a lot of sense too, why would they hang around in indecision mode. Time is money. And indecision is costly. They have the capacity to keep moving despite the potential discomfort involved. They understand the reward of doing so far outweighs the level of discomfort.
Listening to a podcast interview with about why we don’t take action, Brooke Castillo shared that “Discomfort is the currency of your dreams” and I’d have to agree. Which would also make comfort the very reason why you’re not getting what you want in your life.
We (yes, you included) must get something from staying in that loop. That fear cycle. That self-doubt. That turmoil and indecision. Otherwise, why would we keep returning to it?
We get to feel a little bit more comfortable. We may not be getting what we want but at least we know what we’re getting.
We’ve become accustomed to that level of turmoil that suddenly the more unknown—the territory where we know things could actually change, feel different, make our dreams come true—suddenly feels far too uncomfortable.
It’s a bit perverse. I get that.
Yet, deep in our sub conscious humans are wired to do something in order to feel good.
If you can wrap your head around a bit of discomfort you can also access what you want in your life.
And that’s where space comes in. Without creating the space or the pause to consider doing something different you’ll never really get out of that loop. You may have moments where you feel a little more in control or powerful, but ultimately you’ll be sucked back in to not changing when things get a little ‘hot’ outside of that sphere.
Real change, the kind that connects you back to yourself, that lights you up, that sticks around and lasts, that brings your dreams into reality – that takes courage. That takes discomfort. That takes space. To question. To pause. To consider a new perspective.
And if you’re looking for a few extra cheerleaders while you step into the unknown + clear steps and guidance to keep moving through it, it’s not too late to join our FREE 3-Day Soul Spruce at: https://daniellebrooker.com/soul-spruce. Registrations close Thursday 28th September.