I had a little wobble this morning.

It’s only day 2 of being “back” after a few weeks break and I fell over already.

Yesterday went swimmingly well. I woke up earlier (and actually got up earlier—win!), I had some “sacred time” (undisturbed time, alone, to stretch or ponder or meditate where my partner knows not to interrupt), we even sat down and had a delicious cooked breakfast.

By 9am I was rearing to go, at my desk, incense lit and I felt so, grounded. I had strong, clear boundaries and I was making lots of fun progress.

So why then in the space of less than 24hrs did all of that suddenly, seemingly, evaporate?

I couldn’t fall asleep last night. Woke up later. Felt anxious from the moment I got out of bed. Wanted spaciousness and quiet but reached for my phone instead of my yoga mat. Started getting grumpy at my partner for trying to talk to me. Sat on my yoga mat. Stillness. A candle. It felt soothing and I almost felt like I’d “returned”. Maybe the morning would be salvaged after all?

Alas. The moment I re-entered the rest of the house I was anxious again. Snappy. Getting grumpy and then – the tears. Big welled up hurting tears tight in my chest that desperately needed releasing, for no apparent reason.

I don’t always have the answers in moments like this. In fact, if you were a fly on the wall in our house you’d literally hear me saying over and over again to my partner I don’t know why! I just am. Stop asking. I don’t know.

That not knowing can feel terrifying. What if I stay here? What if I can’t shake this?

Then the self-doubt chatter of my “productivity” kicks in, Arr! I need to WORK today! I can’t feel like this. How am I going to get anything DONE?!

I know now not to fight it. Not to push it down. Not to blame it on my partner (nope, never ever done that 🤫).

When I feel like that, there are no answers. At least not in that precise moment. And the very best thing I can do is to allow it.

In my book, Freedom From Busy, one of my favourite chapters is all about getting okay with our emotions. Because they’ve taught me so much about myself and I see how transforming it can be for my clients when they allow it all to rise up and out.

Part of our “busyness” and anxiousness comes from pushing away the discomfort. That not knowing why I was crying feeling this morning. That panic of will I get everything done? Instead of running away from the feelings (which by the way just makes them grip tighter) I do my best to allow them in.

And here’s how:

1. I acknowledge it’s there in the first place and do my best to name it (“hey, I’m feeling anxious right now”).
2. I tell myself encouraging things to release it, like “it’s okay, you can feel like this, why don’t you go curl up on the bed and cry it out”.
3. And then I ask myself what else I need. Like “what would make you feel better right now?”.

However you’re feeling today – whether you’ve had the best start to your day ever or you’re already wound up and anxious, it’s okay. Your feelings are there to be felt. What can you do to soften to them today?