Last month I shared a pretty raw, vulnerable insight into what was going on for me that month with our loyal subscribers*. (You can get the inside scoop too, stuff we share only with our subscribers, just head daniellebrooker.com to sign up). I shared that the month had been a somewhat strange one for me, lots of mixed emotions and certainly lots of highs and lows. I reflected that I’d actually been quite surprised at my ability to notice that feeling into each situation was perfectly okay. That there were equally powerful lessons and insights to take away from the moments when I felt high versus the moments when I felt low. I had such great feedback that people could totally identify with the rollercoaster that it spurred me to share this little journal post with you from months back. It’s an honest account of a moment when I felt incredibly trapped and lost – and also shows how I was able to turn to a resourceful way to break my state. I talk about this lots here and here and some of the ways I’ve tried to shift the intensity of the feeling). I just love how incredible our body, mind and soul is at navigating us closer to being able to experience life more fully. We just need to keep listening, learning and applying. So here goes:
I’m having a tantrum. And I don’t even care.
I’m feeling raw, lost and lonely. And I’m not even sure what toppled me over the edge. It’s funny that. Your day can be going great and all it takes is a tinsy tumble something lurks below the surface and if you don’t give it the attention it deserves perhaps it will choose to trip you up down the track.
What exactly my ego is stepping in for I’m not sure. I do know I’m sitting in it though. And I’m choosing to do so. Yep. That means chocolate. Pouting. Not taking action. And that’s all kinda ok. Because I know deep down (well actually not that deep cause it feels like it’s quite close) I’m going to choose to move through and forward. This could be bottom, I’m not sure. That’s ok too. Cause I kinda feel like it.
Connection. Connection. Connection.
That’s where my self exploration is at. That’s where I feel I get tripped up my most. Am I connected?
Where can I seek connection when my deepest connection is not immediately available. Who can I turn to when those around me are not near? Are words in a journal enough? Is quiet time alone enough?
I want to scream. I want to shout. I want to…
Pause in this moment. I want to shift my mood, my behaviour. And now I choose song.
I’m not sure what song I chose. Perhaps it was simply turning to my ‘Happy’ playlist. A handful of songs I saved as a go to when I feel the need to dance around my bedroom or living room and feel the intense injection of silliness, happiness and joyful abandon all at once. (A tip I originally picked up from Rhonda Britton in her book Fearless Living, although I’ve heard so many others, such as Danielle La Porte and Marie Forleo, talk about the power of having a go-to break state activity or list of activities).
What are you taking away from this story today? Have you ever felt like you’d rather throw a tantrum than do something ‘resourceful’? I totally get that!! Sometimes it’s okay to stay there for a little while, let the fuse out. What’s most important is that we don’t get STUCK there. Take some time to brainstorm right now for yourself – what activities or actions could you take to get you out of your funk? What’s the silliest thing you can think of? What’s the easiest thing?
Jump on over to our social media channels now and share with us – let’s share the love and get a MEGA list happening so we have no excuses whatsoever for getting STUCK in that funk again.
Tantrum throwing friends or family? Let them off the hook ? Share this post with them so they too can have the steps to get unstuck