How Busyness Keeps Us Feeling Lost – And How To Reclaim Yourself

I’ve been re-listening to my conversation with a dear friend, Amparo Soto, on this week’s podcast guest episode. I love hearing her voice. Her laugh. Her realness.

It’s one of the many reasons I was drawn to her in the first place. When she speaks, truth falls out. You always know what you’re getting.

We ended up talking about being your own best advocate – from how to show up for your own needs with things like taking breaks and creating your own down time, through to speaking up and seeking multiple opinions when you’re taking care of others.

You’ll hear more about her story in Episode 68, and how she’s found her voice even more since navigating her son’s journey through multiple heart surgeries.

As I was re-listening to parts of the episode today I was reminded of how so much about advocacy is actually innate to who we are. It’s a process for speaking up for what we most believe in. It’s just that sometimes we get lost along the way. We forget what matters most to us.

One of the things that keeps us lost is our busyness. Whether it’s your diary, your work, your competing priorities between family and friends, or simply the busyness of your mind – staying stuck in this holding pattern makes us feel like we don’t know who we are.

(I talk more about this in Episode 67 of the podcast, it’s a short and sweet “conversation starter” to get you thinking differently about getting free from busy).

Knowing who you are is rooted in feeling. And when you’re so caught up in all the doing and overthinking, there’s no space to feel.

I’ve been experimenting the past few weeks with this space. How much space do I actually need? What happens if I don’t fill the space? Won’t I get bored? What really happens when you give yourself permission to not have it all under control all the time.

There’s lots of little ways to experiment.

Like being okay with your room being messy. Or not making an elaborate dinner. Or not getting to the washing immediately. I’ve realised that worrying about the house being constantly straight and clear is somewhat futile right now. There’s two humans, running businesses, working full time and also living in a small flat. It’s okay if a room or two are messy for a while.

Or, try cancelling as many plans in your diary and see how you feel. Day one could feel a little daunting (what will I do with all this time?!). By day three, you could just start to soften into the space and see what arises.

Or giving yourself permission to not deal with everything all at once. Instigate a “one thing at a time” rule for yourself and stick to it for 24hrs. Then extend it to 3 days. Any time you notice your thoughts and mind are getting “busy” with all the things you need to handle – ask yourself, what’s the ONE thing for right now?

Showing up for yourself and becoming your own best advocate, starts with getting to know yourself. Reconnecting with you comes with giving yourself more space.

How will you experiment with space this week?